The Dirty 30s – The “little things”

It’s the little things in life that matter the most… Well so the old saying tells us anyway. I’m certainly a firm believer that its “little things” that truly brighten up your day. Sometimes simple little gestures from others can leave you smiling from ear to ear without you even realising.

Unfortunately for us mere mortals we’re also plagued by the not so welcome “little things”. You know the ones I mean: The “little things” that annoy us, that niggle at us, and when bottled up can all of a sudden turn into a festering rage. Let’s face it, we’ve all been a position where we allow something really small and usually insignificant to get on our nerves; we try our best to ignore it but then all of a sudden you start to notice it more and more then suddenly your brain is totally consumed by this annoying “little thing” until your almost fit to burst and feel like shouting random obscenities at anyone in earshot. I’m going to put my hands up here – for me its noisy eaters, they drive me absolutely nuts! The first slurp or smack of the lips I will leave them away with, but the more I hear it the more I want to make them wear their plate of food. To avoid these sudden violent urges brought about by noisy eaters I will sometimes just leave the room, it’s safer for all involved.

Am I just getting to that stage in life where I am getting increasingly pissed off by the smallest of things, or is it something we’re all guilty of? As I lay in bed one night trying my hardest to get some sleep, “hyper brain” kicked in and thus followed 2 full hours of random thoughts flying around my head, mainly stuff that really wound me up! Having recently been to a mindfulness workshop I decided to try out one of the tricks which they thought to help with sleeping. I picked up a pen and paper and decided to scribble down all these thoughts and minor upsets, get them out of my head and clear the way for some nicer sleepier thoughts. After half an hour of scribblings I finished my list. The thoughts were out of my head and down on paper and I felt lighter. Turns out the “little things” were really bugging me and made for some interesting reading when I returned to the list after a few days…
People in long queues who wait until they reach the top and then go rooting for their purse or wallet which is always at the end of their bag! Dear sweet Jesus you have been standing in a line for the past 10 minutes looking around you, God forbid you could have used that time to take out your money and save us all a few minutes.
Brolly etiquette! It’s pretty simple, it rains a lot in this country so we should all know how to use an umbrella and we should all know the unwritten rules when it comes to our faithful brollies. If two brolly users approach each other on a narrow path then said brolly users should each tilt their brolly’s politely to alternating sides which should give both brolly users ample room to pass each other without collision. It is wholly unacceptable to use said umbrellas as a form of weapon to get people out of your way.
The Stop and Start Brigade! You know the ones, you’re walking through town minding your own business and there is always that one person in front of you who decides to stop, start and change direction in dramatic fashion. These kinds of erratic movement are not good for anyone’s nerves, please just keep walking in an orderly fashion and no one will get hurt.
Loud eaters and slurpers. Please see above, do not get me started again.
Doorway Haunts. Doorways are for walking through and not for standing having a chat in. Doorways are not the ideal place for a gossip or catch up. While on the subject of doorways, if someone is polite enough to hold a door open for you, then, a simple thank you or a friendly smile is the appropriate response. Walking past with your head in the air is not!
Facebook Complainers and Keyboard Warriors! Sensationalism is the name of the game for the social media warriors of our generation whose main aim is for their latest complaint to get as many likes as possible. Favourite words include “disgrace”, “joke” and “boycott” which is always met by a chorus of “you ok hun?” and “go to the papers luv!” from the baying mob of fellow warriors. Get a life!
Cured Hoors! My grandmother use to always say “there’s nothing worse than a cured hoor”, I always wondered what it meant whilst at the same time thinking it was hilarious because my grandmother had said the word “hoor”. For those who do not know, “a cured hoor” is a term used for someone who has overcome whatever affliction they may have been afflicted with and now proceeds to preach about their “curing” at any opportunity, whether people are listening or not. Humility is not something a “cured hoor” is familiar with in any way shape or form.

So there you have it, the list that was keeping me awake one night. All these “little things” that I should have dismissed but ultimately in hindsight were affecting me in some way because it was keeping me up at night.
Getting that list out on paper was a little mini form of stress relief for me. I was getting narky at the human race, society in general and really anyone that crossed my path. Getting the “little things” off my chest meant that I didn’t have to swear at random strangers who didn’t say thanks when I held the door and more importantly it meant someone did not get a slap of an umbrella on a rainy day as I walked to the office. I’m not cured by any means; these things still really annoy me but now that I’ve gotten them out of my system, I can start to trivialise them and laugh about how small they are. I can see now they aren’t actually “real” problems, they are simple other people’s habits that piss me off!
Is there a moral to my little exercise? Well in a way it shows that problems can come in all shapes and sizes but by getting the little things off our chests we can catch them before they turn into big things, and before they start to really mess up our heads. I know my “little things” may be quite eccentric but at the end of the day they are my “little things”. I now love getting them off my chest because it makes me feel better and at the end of the day it’s better out than in.

Words – Dave Cuddihy

Fusion Magazine
Written by Fusion Magazine